Whose Story?

“Do you want a starring role in your own little story or do you want a little role in God’s eternal story?”

A fair question. Unfortunately, in my early years I answered it by choosing to be the star of my own little story. I am embarrassed to say that during my late twenties and thirties I was a very much inwardly focused person. I was married with, at one time, three kids under the age of five and obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder and obtaining my view of the American dream. To tell you how bad it was, to this day when my wife and I are with other couples and we’re sharing about our lives, she refers to herself as being an army wife, and I was never in the military! But I was on the road three and four nights a week. In my mind, I rationalized that I was being a good provider, but in fact I was doing exactly and only what I wanted to do. As I look back now, I think of those as my selfish times. Because of that drive and focus and determination, I had my piece of the American dream: the houses, the cars, the club memberships, etc. I kind of had my time in the sun and I found that it wasn’t that warm and it wasn’t that comforting. It took me awhile and it wasn’t an easy lesson but I’ve come to realize over the years that it’s far greater to have a small role in God’s eternal story. The dream is different, but this time the time in the Son is warm, comforting, and full of hope, anticipation, and joy.

For me, the transition from focusing inward to focusing outward was and is a process. It certainly didn’t happen overnight, but rather small, gradual changes were always prompted by the Spirit. God showed me this weekend at a Christian men’s retreat that I don’t need to try and make up for the past. It’s not even possible. I just need to step into my little role in God’s eternal story. It’s all His story anyway, and oh, what a story!